The Dar Three

I grew up in Malaysia and back then ( I sound like a grandma!) people were far more reticent about showing affection in public.

Translation: you shook hands when you met your friends or you just waved and said hi....nobody and I mean nobody ever did the kiss on the cheek thing.

That was something we watched in the movies or witnessed with glee as Malaysian students returning on holiday from the US, UK or Australia tried in vain to incorporate into local society. They usually ended up making a fool of themselves because the recipient would do either or all of these:

1. Totally freeze and look horrifically uncomfortable as they barely tolerated the kiss
2. Pull away as the kiss-er tried to approach with pursed lips
3. Inadvertently poke the kisser in the stomach as they would have extended their hand for a shake at the same moment the kiss-er leaned forward
4. Rudely and angrily ask "what are you doing?" much to the embarrassment of the unfortunate kiss-er

Things have changed now and almost everyone does the kiss-on-the-cheek when they meet. In fact, it is now bordering on the ridiculous since people who barely know each other are cheek- kissing on the street!

I was initially not very happy about this type of greeting (response no.1 was my usual reaction) especially if some drunken male acquaintance I hardly knew decided to slobber all over my cheek. Yuck!

Initial reluctance aside, these days it's become 2nd nature for me to plant kisses upon various cheeks (in case you're wondering, I do practice some level of quality control... ... for instance, I don't kiss the plumber when he turns up to fix a leaky tap although I know him quite well, thanks to the stupid tap!)

While I may be relaxed about this sort of greeting these days, I still take issue with one thing...the number of kisses you're supposed to plant on someone's cheek.

Back home in KL, one kiss on just one cheek or one on each cheek seems to be the norm. I've casually observed that younger people tend to kiss on both cheeks while the more mature portion of the population go in for only one (incidentally, many Muslim people do not do the cheek kiss greeting - lucky things!)

I'm one of those who thinks one kiss on each cheek (i.e two total) is already too many. I was NOT prepared for what I have to deal with here in Dar.

Over here, it's not one, not two but THREE kisses. One on each cheek and then you go back to the first cheek for the third kiss. I mean, I know the pace of life here is rather pole-pole but who the heck has time to go kissing everyone 3 times!

The Dar 3 seems especially popular among the local Mohindi (Indian) crowd. I wonder if some smarty pants is going to try and add another kiss and make it the Dar 4. Maybe if I stay here till 2010, it'll be the Dar 23.

I sincerely hope not!