I was stopped by a policeman at the corner of Haile Sellasie Road last week.
I was hot and bothered because the air-conditioning in my car is behaving badly and refuses to drop below a certain temperature. Heat always puts me in an bad mood and I was dying to get home and cool off when I spied a policeman standing right in the centre of the road, waving at me to pull over.
I don't really want to admit it but I seriously considered slamming my foot down on the accelerator so he'd get scared and jump out of my way. In Dar, there's no real fear of being hunted down on a high speed chase because policemen rarely have vehicles at their disposal. They all get dropped off at their various corners during the day and presumably picked up at the end of the day.
(Some of them have a horrifying habit of just opening the passenger door and jumping into your car when you slow down at a corner. Then they'll make you drop them off at the police station - this is especially true when it rains as the poor Engineer can testify!)
Anyway, at the last moment, I decided to do the sensible thing and stop. The guy greeted me and then proceeded to rattle off in Swahili but of course I didn't understand a word he was saying. When he discovered this, he began a long lecture on why I should know the national language of Tanzania since I've been here for quite a while (he made it a point to ask how long I've been here the moment he established that I'm Malaysian) .
At this point, I was really beginning to regret not having run him over earlier but it was too late.
He eventually got to the point and asked for my license. When he couldn't find anything wrong with that, he asked if I had a reflector and fire extinguisher in my car (these are a must for every vehicle according to local law). I felt a mild wave of panic because I couldn't remember if I had them in the boot. So I did the only thing women do when they're caught in a situation like this - I pretended to have a 'blonde' moment.
Instead of opening the boot, I opened the door of the fuel tank and then the bonnet and then I told him I didn't know how to get the boot open. The policeman, who had been patiently waiting, decided that I really
was a bimbo and went round to the back of the car to try and pry open the boot himself. Fortunately, he failed ( the Engineer later informed me that all the necessary items
were in the boot so I pulled the blonde act for nothing!).
The policeman finally managed to catch me out when he asked for the vehicle registration card. Of course I didn't have it because I drive a rented car and told him so (only the owner has the registration card). Nevertheless, claimed my annoying policeman in a authoritative tone, I should have it in the car at all times. He went on to inform me that it would cost TSH20,000 for this 'offence' but he would benevolently forgo this if I offered him another amount.
I had reached the end of my patience long ago and was in no mood to play ball with the guy so I pulled out TSH5,000 and gave it to him just to shut him up.
The guy took it, said thank you and - this is the best part - asked me to take down his private phone number. Apparently he wanted to teach me Swahili! Thinking that it would be easiest if I just did what he said, I keyed his number into my phone (under Corrupt Policeman).
I thought he'd finally let me go but no...he had one last trick up his sleeve. He wanted me to give him
my phone number as well! I was ready to slap him so I gave him my best "don't mess with me" look . It didn't work because then he asked, "do you have a husband?".
This was the final straw so I replied "yes and I can give you
his number if you like. Maybe you can call him instead". He mumbled an apology but I was already rolling up my screen and shifting gear. This time, I really
would have driven over his foot if he hadn't jumped out of the way.
Can you imagine the cheek of this Corrupt Policeman? First he asks me for money when I had done nothing wrong and then he asks me for my number. I suppose he was planning to take me out to lunch with the TSH5,000 I had given him. What an idiot!!!!